We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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