Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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