Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
