happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
