is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Still dying that you shit outside
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
