I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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