At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
