She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
