so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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