I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
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he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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