Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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