I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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