he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
