I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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