You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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