If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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