dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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