do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
