Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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