I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
