I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize