Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
