Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
