he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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