When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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