if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize