Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
