We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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