Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
