somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
