I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
