I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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