why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
