bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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