I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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