i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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