fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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