sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
