I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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