Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
