I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
