I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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