Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
