You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
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