When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
