Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
