I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
