Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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