Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think my fart just growled at me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
