i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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