i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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