question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
