she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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