Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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