I just pynch a tree in the face
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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