someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
