Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
