It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
