Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
