I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it