Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.

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  (216): I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself. (1-216): It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you. (216): He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry. http://tfl.nu/dfyj
  Replies (27) Good night (530) Bad night (5068)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.

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  (520): Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out. http://tfl.nu/rjf8
  Replies (18) Good night (2768) Bad night (918) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep

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  (908): I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep http://tfl.nu/s4hd
  Replies (41) Good night (1141) Bad night (3876) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?

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  (570): how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge? http://tfl.nu/xxhq
  Replies (8) Good night (4296) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well

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  (401): its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well http://tfl.nu/qkzl
  Replies (20) Good night (1375) Bad night (5211)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave

  (703): View more from Virginia

  and miss being on the news....no way

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  (571): next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave (703): and miss being on the news....no way http://tfl.nu/gtrx
  Replies (21) Good night (8603) Bad night (996)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"

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  (515): I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson" http://tfl.nu/itij
  Replies (11) Good night (7508) Bad night (863) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?

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  (202): WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT? http://tfl.nu/xll1
  Replies (13) Good night (1691) Bad night (1758) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.

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  (907): Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender. http://tfl.nu/w5e6
  Replies (10) Good night (1031) Bad night (1671)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.

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  (815): I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed. http://tfl.nu/jn5l
  Replies (7) Good night (442) Bad night (1760) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  How was the rest of your night?

  (917): View more from New York City

  A little fuzzy and a lot naked.

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  (646): How was the rest of your night? (917): A little fuzzy and a lot naked. http://tfl.nu/r63c
  Replies (7) Good night (2150) Bad night (460)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.

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  (812): Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping. http://tfl.nu/zu80
  Replies (9) Good night (1692) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area

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  (479): Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius? (1-479): If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area http://tfl.nu/19ec
  Replies (10) Good night (1731) Bad night (509)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"

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  (303): I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?" http://tfl.nu/z8zt
  Replies (2) Good night (1272) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore

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  (209): I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore http://tfl.nu/6h5d
  Replies (2) Good night (419) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt

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