so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...