I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
