Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
